A Journey of Growth: Three Years of Fostering

Fostering had always been in the back of my mind, but it wasn’t until my own children had grown up and left home that I realised how ready I was to take that step. The house suddenly felt quiet and a bit too empty. I had thought about fostering for years, but life and work kept me busy, and it never quite felt like the right moment.

Then the pandemic happened, and for the first time in years I wasn’t rushing around. During a chat with a friend who worked for a fostering agency, I mentioned that fostering was something I might be interested in. She gave me the number, and because life had finally slowed down, I actually had the time  and the space to pick up the phone and explore it.

When I first stepped into fostering, I knew it would come with challenges, but I didn’t expect it to be as hard as it eventually became. I hadn’t realised how involved I would be with so many different professionals, or how often I’d find myself coordinating with schools, social workers, and health teams.

A significant part of my fostering journey has involved supporting a child who struggled with school attendance. School refusal can come from deep and complicated feelings – anxiety, past experiences, or simply feeling overwhelmed -and it isn’t something that changes overnight. It took a lot of patience, steady routines, and gentle encouragement just to help them feel safe enough to try. Those mornings were some of the moments that stretched me the most, not because they were frightening, but because they required me to slow down, stay calm, and meet the child exactly where they were emotionally. Through those experiences, I learned that progress often happens in tiny steps, and that even the smallest steps forward deserve to be noticed and celebrated.

Before I started fostering, I’ll admit I had quite a limited understanding of why children come into care. I used to assume that most children were in care because their parents were simply “bad” or unwilling to look after them, unless there had been a bereavement. Once I stepped into fostering, I realised how far from the truth that idea was. I began to understand how much mental health difficulties, trauma, and a lack of support can affect a parent’s ability to meet their child’s needs. It helped me see families with far more compassion, and to understand that many parents love their children deeply but are struggling in ways that outsiders never see. This shift has changed not only how I support the children, but also how I view the families they come from.

Looking back, I can see that I started this journey feeling nervous and unsure, yet oddly confident at the same time. I was completely new to the world I was walking into, but I believed I would find my way as I learned. Most of my learning came from peer support and the training provided by the agency. I have also been incredibly fortunate to have a supportive supervising social worker. His knowledge and calm guidance have made so many situations more manageable, especially during meetings with other professionals where things can feel intense or overwhelming.

Alongside that, the good belly laughs I share with the children have been just as important. Their humour, their way of seeing the world, and the moments when we can simply be silly together have kept me going through the tougher days.

All of these supports have helped me not just cope, but genuinely thrive in this role. Looking back, I’m so glad I picked up the phone and contacted the agency when I did. Fostering has turned out to be a profession like no other challenging, meaningful, and full of moments that remind me exactly why I chose this path.

Are you thinking about fostering?