The harsh push factors that bring a child or young adult into the foster care system can also turn them into troublesome individuals. This may not always be the case but it can happen. Here are some of the ways in which you could handle the situation.
Growing up in a dysfunctional home can turn a child into an adult before time. The child is forced to fend for themselves in whatever way possible which may include breaking the law. Sometimes the child will lie to protect their guardians because they know that they may be separated from them if the truth came out about the guardian’s negligence.
It all sounds gloom but the good thing is that children can be taught. They can learn.
The social worker will provide warning if the child is a possible risk. This includes if they have a known history of misdemeanor or running away. Forewarned is forearmed. Using this information you can also prepare your home accordingly before the child arrives.
When the child or young adult moves in, have a conversation with them about your expectations from them and also have them share their expectations of you. This will avoid some of the conflict that may arise in the future.
Assure them that your home is different from where they are coming from and that you will provide the basics to the best of your ability. If the child is satisfied with your assurance it will put them at ease and they may let their guard down. Putting the child/young adult at ease can disarm their fight-or-flight mode.
In more severe cases, please liaise closely with the social worker on the matter. Keep a record of all the incidents and let the system know what is happening. They may be able to advise on what the next step is which may be professional help for the foster child/young adult. The records that you keep may be of use to the system to make informed decisions about the foster child/young adult in the future.
Being a foster carer comes with challenges sometimes but it can be highly rewarding. Exercise patience during the process bearing in mind that no child would voluntarily choose this life. It will assist you a great deal and remember that it’s only for a time and a season and you are the first step in healing and restoration for the foster child/young adult.
Here at Family Works Fostering we welcome anyone that wishes to foster regardless of their sexual orientation. If you are considering fostering or know someone that is please contact us by calling +44 1702 59 77 97 or sending an email to info@fw-fostering.co.uk